The Ever Elusive "Girl" Gene

Reasons I think I might be missing part of my “GIRL” gene:
1.) I fully believe it is possible for babies to be ugly.
2.) I see no reason to touch a pregnant woman’s belly. It’s not my kid wtf do I care if the kid kicks or not.
3.) Children are just larger versions of a parasite. This may piss you off, but it is true and my nurse friend will back me up on it 100%. The dictionary also agrees with this statement.
4.) Makeup is just a huge pile of confusion to me and I feel no need to spend time dealing with it on a day to day basis. Special events are even filed under the “maybe I will wear makeup” section of my life.
5.) I have straight hair, which means I really don’t have to put any effort into “doing” my hair and thusly never developed the need to spend hours making my hair look just right. If you’re lucky I remembered to run a brush through it in the morning before I left.
6.) I don’t notice “cute babies” in public. Many girls I know seem to have this built in CBGPS (cute baby locating system), but mine is pretty much broken and the kid has to basically run me over, or be tearing the place apart for me to notice.
7.) Wedding dresses…where did we get the idea that they needed to cost a month’s salary for people to think we were beautiful? There is no way I will EVER pay that much for a dress.
8.) I’d rather talk about sports than home décor or shopping any day.
9.) Candle light dinners, roses and other overstated romance are completely lost on me. Take me to a ballgame and buy me a beer. You’ll get a much better response.

Support for my being a girl, however, does exist. I have a ton of closet space and it was a huge reason I bought the house I live in now. I don’t believe it is possible for a person to have too many clothes or too many shoes. Shoes are my girl weakness. Also, I cry a lot and for no reason most of the time. All of these things do in fact support that I have “GIRL” potential, but I fear they may be places that I always fall short.