I have discovered that one of my many flaws, yes, flaws, is that I have little to no sensor and feel that anytime is a good time to share information that I find interesting. If you have ever had a face-to-face conversation with me then you know this is true. However, I have recently learned that many things come out of my mouth at the dinner table that no sane, or otherwise socially adept person would say. I will provide evidence.
Approximately two weeks ago the boy and I were at Applebee's having a rare dinner out together during which he told me his throat was feeling sore. There are many normal responses to this statement, such as, "Do you feel like you're coming down with something?", "Did you have to do more talking than normal today?", or even "I'm sorry, that sucks." I said "Did you know you can get gonorrhea in your throat?" It is probably for the best that instead of being shocked or horrified that I had said this aloud in a dining establishment he just said, "No, I did not know that." I followed with, "Well, generally you have to be immunocompromised first, but you still CAN get gonorrhea in your throat. I doubt that's what you have though, and if it is we probably need to be having a talk." Another winner of a comment at this dinner involved talking about one of my favorite books. I don't think the family dining behind us at all enjoyed my giddy excitement while describing the awesomeness of "Stiff" by Mary Roach, or the fact that my favorite chapter is about body farms. They were however, troopers and stuck it out through their entire dinner and even a dessert. I guess I'm not quite to the stage of scaring people away.
So, would you still like to join us for dinner?
Showing posts with label Elusive second x. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Elusive second x. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Crew News
Recently my mother and I attended really good soccer game. Now I know many MANY people dislike soccer. It is my belief that people dislike the sport because they don’t understand it. I played soccer from age 7 to 21, and miss it every day that I’m off the field. Sadly if I attempted to play soccer I would probably die at a maximum of 15 minutes into the game. This horrible lack of physical ability does not detract from my love of the sport.
I can enjoy watching little kids play (the bumble bee theory of soccer) or the professionals. I will be one of the first to admit to you that the MLS is not always the best soccer. I will also freely admit that the MLS world thought David Beckham would save the sport. Honestly, it was like they thought of him as the second coming of Christ. He was going to save the world of soccer and walk on water all at the same time. I say all these things knowing that someone is going to disagree with me and you are certainly welcome to, but it is still my opinion.
However, the game I attended this weekend was sold out because of one Mr. David Beckham and I do not care to recount the number of times I heard he was dreamy. Here is also where I admit I have a slight crush on Mr. Beckham myself, but not for the normal reason. Most people have a crush on him because he is a sports icon, wears designer clothes and is a quite nice physical specimen. While all of these things are true of him you have to look deeper to understand my crush. I don’t ever care to see him in anything other than shorts a jersey and cleats as longs as there is a soccer ball around. I could watch his footwork all day every day. His touches on the ball are gorgeous and his passing is amazing, when he is on, but like everyone else he is not enough to make a team. Another player on his team that is quite lovely to watch play the game is Landon Donovan. Again near magical foot work, but none of this mattered to the majority of the spectators at Crew Stadium this past weekend. I venture to guess that the majority of them were there to look at David Beckham.
The game was fabulous despite the fact that I had to endure none stop chatter of “Is he too old for me?” “Wouldn’t we be cute together?” and “Did you see him!?!”. The Galaxy moved the ball and put passes together better than the Crew in my opinion, but the Crew came away with the win. They scored an amazing goal in the first half and held on for the win. It was great to see the soccer again!
Anyone know where I could be playing?
**Oddly enough it took two pages worth of pictures to find one of David Beckham actually playing soccer. You may judge for yourselves what that means.**
I can enjoy watching little kids play (the bumble bee theory of soccer) or the professionals. I will be one of the first to admit to you that the MLS is not always the best soccer. I will also freely admit that the MLS world thought David Beckham would save the sport. Honestly, it was like they thought of him as the second coming of Christ. He was going to save the world of soccer and walk on water all at the same time. I say all these things knowing that someone is going to disagree with me and you are certainly welcome to, but it is still my opinion.
However, the game I attended this weekend was sold out because of one Mr. David Beckham and I do not care to recount the number of times I heard he was dreamy. Here is also where I admit I have a slight crush on Mr. Beckham myself, but not for the normal reason. Most people have a crush on him because he is a sports icon, wears designer clothes and is a quite nice physical specimen. While all of these things are true of him you have to look deeper to understand my crush. I don’t ever care to see him in anything other than shorts a jersey and cleats as longs as there is a soccer ball around. I could watch his footwork all day every day. His touches on the ball are gorgeous and his passing is amazing, when he is on, but like everyone else he is not enough to make a team. Another player on his team that is quite lovely to watch play the game is Landon Donovan. Again near magical foot work, but none of this mattered to the majority of the spectators at Crew Stadium this past weekend. I venture to guess that the majority of them were there to look at David Beckham.
The game was fabulous despite the fact that I had to endure none stop chatter of “Is he too old for me?” “Wouldn’t we be cute together?” and “Did you see him!?!”. The Galaxy moved the ball and put passes together better than the Crew in my opinion, but the Crew came away with the win. They scored an amazing goal in the first half and held on for the win. It was great to see the soccer again!
Anyone know where I could be playing?
**Oddly enough it took two pages worth of pictures to find one of David Beckham actually playing soccer. You may judge for yourselves what that means.**
Sunday, September 14, 2008
The Ever Elusive "Girl" Gene
Reasons I think I might be missing part of my “GIRL” gene:
1.) I fully believe it is possible for babies to be ugly.
2.) I see no reason to touch a pregnant woman’s belly. It’s not my kid wtf do I care if the kid kicks or not.
3.) Children are just larger versions of a parasite. This may piss you off, but it is true and my nurse friend will back me up on it 100%. The dictionary also agrees with this statement.
4.) Makeup is just a huge pile of confusion to me and I feel no need to spend time dealing with it on a day to day basis. Special events are even filed under the “maybe I will wear makeup” section of my life.
5.) I have straight hair, which means I really don’t have to put any effort into “doing” my hair and thusly never developed the need to spend hours making my hair look just right. If you’re lucky I remembered to run a brush through it in the morning before I left.
6.) I don’t notice “cute babies” in public. Many girls I know seem to have this built in CBGPS (cute baby locating system), but mine is pretty much broken and the kid has to basically run me over, or be tearing the place apart for me to notice.
7.) Wedding dresses…where did we get the idea that they needed to cost a month’s salary for people to think we were beautiful? There is no way I will EVER pay that much for a dress.
8.) I’d rather talk about sports than home décor or shopping any day.
9.) Candle light dinners, roses and other overstated romance are completely lost on me. Take me to a ballgame and buy me a beer. You’ll get a much better response.
Support for my being a girl, however, does exist. I have a ton of closet space and it was a huge reason I bought the house I live in now. I don’t believe it is possible for a person to have too many clothes or too many shoes. Shoes are my girl weakness. Also, I cry a lot and for no reason most of the time. All of these things do in fact support that I have “GIRL” potential, but I fear they may be places that I always fall short.
1.) I fully believe it is possible for babies to be ugly.
2.) I see no reason to touch a pregnant woman’s belly. It’s not my kid wtf do I care if the kid kicks or not.
3.) Children are just larger versions of a parasite. This may piss you off, but it is true and my nurse friend will back me up on it 100%. The dictionary also agrees with this statement.
4.) Makeup is just a huge pile of confusion to me and I feel no need to spend time dealing with it on a day to day basis. Special events are even filed under the “maybe I will wear makeup” section of my life.
5.) I have straight hair, which means I really don’t have to put any effort into “doing” my hair and thusly never developed the need to spend hours making my hair look just right. If you’re lucky I remembered to run a brush through it in the morning before I left.
6.) I don’t notice “cute babies” in public. Many girls I know seem to have this built in CBGPS (cute baby locating system), but mine is pretty much broken and the kid has to basically run me over, or be tearing the place apart for me to notice.
7.) Wedding dresses…where did we get the idea that they needed to cost a month’s salary for people to think we were beautiful? There is no way I will EVER pay that much for a dress.
8.) I’d rather talk about sports than home décor or shopping any day.
9.) Candle light dinners, roses and other overstated romance are completely lost on me. Take me to a ballgame and buy me a beer. You’ll get a much better response.
Support for my being a girl, however, does exist. I have a ton of closet space and it was a huge reason I bought the house I live in now. I don’t believe it is possible for a person to have too many clothes or too many shoes. Shoes are my girl weakness. Also, I cry a lot and for no reason most of the time. All of these things do in fact support that I have “GIRL” potential, but I fear they may be places that I always fall short.
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